I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
