we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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