Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
