I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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