T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
