Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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