Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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