That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
