Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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