Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
