marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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