windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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