its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it glows. i had to have it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
