the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
