Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
