im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
