I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
