Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize