idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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