So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
