I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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