I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
