Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
