This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
