I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
