dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I would ride that face into the sunset
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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