Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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