I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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