I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
