Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
