Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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