We're facebook friends in real life
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
