so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
