HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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