she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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