i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
