Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
