Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
