I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
