btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
