between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
