I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
