I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
