Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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