I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize