i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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