youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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