We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize