State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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