Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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