Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
