who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
