he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
