Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
