i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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