i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
